ChicagoSportsBlogs : Non Compete

Ho-Ho-Ho! Merry Christmas Bears fans! I hope you weren't holding out for anything more than last place in your division! You shouldn't be disappointed, we still have an offense that is better than everyone else's according to these reports I'm reading. Someone let the Bears into the egg-nog a bit too early. Clearly, these guys are delusional. If I have to read about how we are really better than we are playing, I'm going to do something crazy. Like sell all my crap and move to Cleveland. Are you guys for real? Let's just get into it. I'll be brief because there is no point in prolonging this. One more thing, for all you fans out there that think the Grinch of instant replay stole this win from us, you're going nuts too. Keep reading.

Defense -- We all know how much I love this defense. It has been our savior. They have scored all the points that have mattered this season. If we have won a game, it was because of the defense. If we nearly won a game, it was because of the defense. The first half of this Lions game was a different story. We have redefined bend-don't break defense on this team. The Lions made us look pathetic. We had no energy. We couldn't get to Harrington and somehow the Lions scored 16 points on us by half. One more thing this defense is clearly good at : letting a running back names Jones look like a Pro-Bowler. This must explain how Thomas Jones got the job in the first place.

Offense -- I have seen the future. It is not Chad Hutchinson. At least, it isn't Chad Hutchinson when I am drunk. To be honest, it's Dan Marino. Joey Harrington was amazingly similar to the Hutch yesterday. What do you think about that? The offense of the Lions, in total, is amazingly similar to our own beloved Bears offense. Except they have the right Jones at running back. The A-Train was derailed yesterday to give us a glimpse of our future with Adrian Peterson (no not the good one still in college, the one wearing a Bears uniform). Needless to say, I am horrified. It took us 11 quarters to finally score a touchdown and it was a decent drive that most mediocre teams in this league could score 8 out of 10 times. The Bears, on the other hand, clearly can't expect results this grand so I'll just take every 5 games. Pathetic. Notice, I'm not talking about how we turned it around with a 9 play drive toward the end of the game. I won't mention that stupid, crap, totally wrong replay that cost us this game. I also won't mention that our best receiver is a guy named Bernard. TO? No, BB! I need a drink again...

Special Teams -- There isn't much to report here. Jerry Azumah is the man, and we better sign him up otherwise this part of our game will go south quick. It was a total buzz-kill to see our MVP Maynard get turned down for a starting bid on this year's ProBowl. Ah well, Brad, better luck next year.

Coaching -- I'm going to be bold here: If Nick Saban gets the Miami Dolphins into the playoffs next year, and I'm stuck here watching us flail against the Lions again for last place in this pathetic division, I want this staff fired. Relieved of its duties. Willinghamed. This is unacceptable. I want to know who is hiding Schoop up there in the box? Is it me or does this offense look identical to last years?! Lovie -- make a change. Get rid of Terry Shea now before you lose the rest of this town. Learn from Jauron's mistakes. Don't be loyal to your guy. Be loyal to WINNING. I know a lot of you don't think this is fair. I also know a lot of you who think it's unbearable (pardon the pun) that the Seahawks are making the playoffs. Or even worse, the Cardinals have a better chance at the playoffs. It's a race Lovie. If the Cardinals or the Dolphins make the playoffs next year -- you're finished in my book.

Well then. I hope you all had a nice holiday!! Wait a minute....I think Thomas Jones fumbled again. It's okay everyone, I'm sure Christmas miracles skip a year.

Master of the Obvious here, once again attempting to spread holiday cheer to the Bears faithful.  I don't believe any of us are surprised that a playoff birth will not be one of the presents under our trees this year. I understand that the math says it's not over, but aren't we tired of this sad song by now? I know I am. Instead of pausing to reflect on what we can and can't do, I want to reflect on the intangible. I want to focus on that special something every team except the Bears seems to have. It is my impression that we just don't have that extra playmaker. No, not the Hollywood wife-beating, gun carrying, soap-opera-style playmaker. I mean that guy. You know, the guy who seems to bring nothing but winning everywhere he goes. Other teams seem to have it. The Bears haven't had it in 20 years? Let's take a peek at my twisted thoughts by starting with our division.

The Packers have had it for a long time. It's Brett Favre. No arguements there. This guy is a winner. He is the last of the great old school QBs. He breaks thumbs, shoulders, toes, and it doesn't matter. You know that everyone in the GB locker room expects victory when he is on the field. He elevates everyone around him.  He has been the bane of our existence in the Chi.

The Lions had it. It was Barry Sanders. Not since Sweetness himself have we seen someone as poetic on the field. While Walter's style was elegent in its brutality, Barry's was elegant because it was pure. It was clean. The Lions have been searching for this type of player ever since Barry abruptly retired. They got a taste of it, and some would say they squandered it. Regardless, they had that "extra bit".

The Viking have it now. It's Randy Moss. I know the arguement can be made for Culpepper, but we all know it's Moss. He doesn't seem to care enough to turn it on for every game, and this will keep them down

Brrr! It's freakin cold today. Did any of you poor souls get stuck at Soldiers Field yesterday watching the Texans beat the Bears into submission? Why is it that the only tickets I can ever get my hands on are in December? Is it because we are always out of the division race by December. Perhaps it is because season ticket holders got enough pain paying to watch this team to begin with. This is their way to give back to the less fortunate. Make them watch the Bears at home on the coldest day of the year. Well, thanks but no thanks. It was enough punishment watching this game at home with Tivo in hand for my own replays. Let's get to the break down shall we?

Defense -- I don't know if it was the weather or the Texans' pathetic offense but the defense wasn't the problem in this game (as usual). They didn't run the ball on us very well, and they didn't tear the secondary a new one, except for the two big plays that were the deciding factor. We saw a lot of punting yesterday. I can only say that in the third quarter the defense started to get angry. Someone lit a fire under them after the half and it was clear they got the message. We had Carr pinned back on his own goal line a few times. The pressure we brought was enough for a safety and our first two points. Urlacher missed the game, and I'd like to think that Hillenmeyer, who got a sack, did good enough as his backup. The problem yesterday was the defense was out there way too often. We made 2 critical mental mistakes in Cover-2. RDub bit on a pump fake that caused the Texans to complete their longest pass of the day for 69 yards. This eventually led to a Domanick Davis TD.

Offense -- We are on our forth QB. This should tell you how well we have been doing on offense this season. The QB position isn't the only issue. While Hutch did his best McNown impression, the receiver core once again proved why we are the worst offense in the league. We were playing the 30th ranked defense in the league, and once again we weren't able to score a touchdown. Hutch held onto the ball way too long on many of the sacks he took. Terrell is dropping passes faster than most guys drop girlfriends. Everyone in the building knows we need to draft offense. The announcers doing the game yesterday echoed that sentiment. The running game started off fine. Thomas Jones was in control on our first possession stomping down field. The problem was when he coughed it up on the 20. We had a ton of turnovers. One of which was off a fumble that was returned 57 yards for the nail-in-our-coffin to end any chance at the playoffs -- officially. Craptacular.

Special Teams -- Jerry Azumah and yes, even RDub are the only guys outside of Maynard that are worth anything on special teams. Paul Edinger has Grammatica disease this year. He missed another field goal ending the day 1 for 2. We clearly need the special teams guys to score more points. I hate to put the pressure on them. I know it is unrealistic. I just can't see us scoring another touchdown on offense this year, and I think the special teams guys are good for at least one TD a game. How do you like that for game planning?

Coaching -- Here is a surprise: I think our play calling stinks. I think our offensive coordinator is off his rocker when he gives his performance a B. I think Lovie needs to do something quickly. Why is it ok for the Bears to hide behind injury or inexperience as excuses? Eli Manning has started off shaky, yet he still has shown some sparks of brilliance. I don't mean to compare the young Mr. Manning to Krenzel or Quinn or even Hutch, I'm just saying that his staff seems to know how to call a game to help them win. Regardless of inexperience. Guys, the Cardinals won yesterday. So did the Raiders. They both scored more points in yesterday's games than we have in 5 weeks total. I am confident that if Terry Shea played a game of Madden 2005 against a 10 year old, the ten year old would win. Not a fair assessment you say? Then what is? Clearly, a 30th ranked defense from a team that plays in warm weather, and a potential dome (retractable roof, fancy!) is not a fair match either. Pathetic.

The Bears need help. I'm Master of the Obvious, I know. We need to change the entire offense. We can't continue on the road we are on. We need to realize that we don't know how to evaluate offensive talent. We haven't been good at it since drafting Walter Payton. We are at best, a team of overachievers. It's time to go get some real talent on offense. Stay tuned for my crazy ideas on who the Bears should go after to turn it around....

The Sporting News needs to sell papers. (not on my watch) This is the only reason I can think of for writing an article naming Brian Urlacher the most overrated player in the NFL. The Trib did a nice write up covering the response from Halas Hall. It went something like this: “PFFT”. I can admit to riding on Urlacher for his performance last year. Especially since he was being over hyped in the local media, and we hadn't really seen any true results (aka playoff berths) in recent memory. We expect our “superstars” to deliver. Brian wasn't doing that, and he admitted it. Look at what he has done so far this year. I know he has been injured, but without him we have lost every game this season. That's something like 0-4 for all you stat-heads. Can I say for sure that Urlacher is the best MLB in the game? No. I can't say that. That honor goes to Ray-Ray. But I can say that Urlacher is a Pro Bowl MLB. I am confident that as he grows into his leadership position on this team he will only make us better. You have to love his ability to run from sideline to sideline. You also can't deny the fact that people game plan for him. Specifically, to run away from him. I don't know about you, but there have been many occasions this year where wide outs in this league got alligator-arms after hearing the footsteps of a certain Urlacher. This is nonsense. Isn't that right Ray-Ray?

The news is out. Kenny Williams is tired of running second to the Twins. 'Los has been traded away to the Brewers. We get Scott Podsednik and an arm in Luis Vizcaino. Of course, there is a player to be named later, and I hope it's one of those players the Sox always name later. You know, he turns out to be a stud. I've been pretty busy dealing with the happenings at Soldiers Field and the Sox haven't really been doing much in the off season. Sure, we have tried to invite ourselves into the Randy Johnson party, but this was just to stir the pot a little. We were bottom feeding on that one. I can't evaluate this trade on anything more than the cash savings. 6 million dollars worth of savings that we Sox fans can only hope turns into another starting pitcher. Perhaps a quality third baseman? I hear rumors we are after a Japanese pro for third base. With our luck, he is 35 years old and way past his prime. I won't let my emotions get the best of me before spring training starts, so I will stop right there. The bottom line is this: We need to win the division this year. No excuses. We need to sell tickets too. Losing Carlos Lee and Mags doesn't improve our chances of doing either.

I'm dusting off the White Sox section to let some of you Sox fans know that I will be writing about all the happenings during the offseason.....You know, things like Mags going away for good and the Trib's attempt to give us all heart attacks by printing he wouldn't mind going to the Cubs! There is a ton to cover especially since our GM is very much vocal on what he has up his sleeve....So with the Bears' season coming to an end, you can expect the baseball talk to kick into gear. We'll have more when spring training starts of course, so hang in there.

Back to square one. This was the feeling after yesterday's man-handling at the hands of the Jaguars. The clear lapse of concentration by the Bears on both sides of the ball should be all we need to finally squash the playoff talk in this town. Thanks to the rest of the NFC for accommodating us with horrible efforts across the board. It helped sell a lot of papers. Let's recap our season to this point: A wise-man once pointed out that the Colts won the NFC North 3 weeks ago. Another wise-man pointed out that the Jaguars are the second best team in the NFC behind the Eagles. Where does this leave the Bears? We can only hope in 3rd position for the draft. Let's get this over with:

Defense -- The bend don't break defense returned yesterday afternoon. We couldn't get to Leftwich. There was no real pass rush. Where was the league's best defensive line? We did a decent job stopping the run because Jimmy Smith rushed for less than 100 yards. Rookie CB Vasher picked off his 5th pass of the season and has been mentioned around town as a potential rookie of the year candidate. We've got to latch onto something, right? I don't blame the defense for much in this game except for our inability to put pressure on QB, our penalties(more on this later), and the fact we missed some tackles in the secondary. Yea, I'm looking at you RDub. Big ups go to Lance Briggs because he was the only one who I kept seeing make plays yesterday. He had something like 14 tackles, all by his lonesome.

Offense -- Do we have to discuss this part of the game? Hutch wasn't the reason we lost this game, although he wasn't the reason we won it either. In other words, he did nothing. One more week where a Bears QB is unable to score a TD. The run game was stuffed early on by the Jags defense. Thomas Jones isn't really that effective, and A-Train still isn't getting enough time to show us why we will miss him when he signs with someone like Detroit next year. The penalties on the offensive side of the ball were horrible. The receivers keep dropping passes, and Hutch took too many sacks. (LET THE BALL GO ALREADY). Once again the happiest guy in the locker room has to be Rex Grossman.

Special Teams -- One field goal and a decent return by Azumah is all I can muster for this part of our game. Would it really matter if I mentioned Maynard as our MVP again? Do special teams matter on a 5-8 team? Those 8 loses had nothing to do with special teams. The fact that a few of the wins were as a result of a big special teams play only further compounds our problems on offense. At least no one returned one on us.

Coaching -- The team wasn't prepared for this game. I don't know why. The amount of flags thrown against us was amazing. When your rushing yards are eclipsed by your penalty yards, you know something is up. The play calling was horrible as well. I have to call in question both Terry Shea and Lovie Smith for this part of the game. We have given up on running the ball too early in the majority of our games. Especially with 2 starting running backs on the roster. I'm not saying its Mike Tice like play calling (go find that Moss interception from their game in Seattle yesterday) but it is pretty darn close. I know everyone got excited that the Hutch threw 3 TDs last week, but the Jags looked at the tape and saw nothing that kept them from sending the blitz on every down. I expected the play calling to be adjusted in the second half of the game, but alas, this is a pipe dream. This staff is still searching for its identity.

That's all kiddies. I hope to find some time before the holidays to start analyzing the team's needs for next year.(which are obvious, I know). The final thought for the day: Will we see Jeff George before the end of the season?! My vote is for yes. Especially since he is waaaay cheaper than a free-agent pick up.

I have to admit something. I didn't watch the game. Not live anyway! Thank god for Tivo. Get one for the holidays. You'll thank me for it. It comes in handy when you want to pretend you are John Madden and need to replay things using the “coach's clicker”. Back and forth, back and forth! I watched in amazement as Hutch threw a touch pass to D.T. for a touchdown. How could I have missed this game you might ask? I was hungry for chowder. And when you are hungry for chowder, you fly to Boston. Patriots country! I know what you're thinking after yesterday's opportunistic Bears' victory. We can take those fancy pants Pats. Slow down, tiger. Be glad we just beat the Vikings, AND that we play in the NFC. In this conference it looks like whoever sells the most chocolate bars door to door gets into the playoffs! Fun stuff, I know. Let's get to it:

Defense -- This team still plays “bend don't break” defense. Even the newly minted Alex Brown admitted we played like crap in the first half. If you look at the box score you can't help but notice that the Vikes beat us on Total Yards, Rushing Yards, and Passing yards. You don't need to be a math major to see how that adds up. Urlacher being in the game did make a huge difference though. The line seems to be way more aggressive when he is on the field calling the shots. The turnover ratio was 1 to 4 in favor of the Bears. Azumah and Mr. Urlacher each enjoyed early gifts from Dante Culpepper in this game. Mr. McD's almost broke that one interception for a score, bad leg and all. Strong work to the defense for sacking Culpepper 5 times. No one has done that this year.

Offense -- Well, well, well. What do we have here? A new punky QB? Did I just say that? The charm on this Cali boy is amazing, and the wideouts' reports of his gun-for-an-arm were all true. I'll stop myself from using baseball metaphors to describe his performance and just say, THANK GOD. The Hutch looked good. Real good. I know the Minnesota defense is crappy, but did anyone else notice how he stood up after getting smashed and started talking junk? It fired these guys up. It fired me up, and I was sober! It might have helped that the play calling was far superior than it was in the last two games, with more than 7 receivers getting into the action. We found our tight end, as well as a fullback AND we finally saw split time from both the A-Train and Thomas Jones. It was a pleasant surprise.

Special Teams -- What's so special about a 53 yard field goal? Well, considering lots of these soccer players around the league are losing their jobs overnight, I'd say it was pretty darn special. The good news here is that we were penalized on a fake punt only to see Maynard save us on a monster kick. No one returned any kicks on us either. Break out the kool-aid!

Coaching -- Finally, I wanted to do the opposite of what today's Chicago Tribune is doing: lambasting the coaching staff for not realizing The Hutch was better than a rookie, and a journeyman who had thrown for 4 passes in 4 years. I am not ready to give these guys a pass on not having a backup at the beginning of the season. I will say that I am impressed at how prepared Hutch looked. We've had our fun when discussing the play calling and the enormous playbook the Bears reportedly use on Sundays. It was refreshing to see Shea spice things up on Offense. It was refreshing to see A-Train out there splitting carries with Thomas Jones (hey, it's working for the Steelers you geniuses). It was even better to see Coach Rivera continually blitz the lights out on defense. A final big-up goes to QB coach, and former Viking, Wade Wilson. Coach Wilson won't get much of the credit here, but his efforts with Hutch this past month seem to have paid off in a big game at home, against a division rival. Strong work.

I've never been one to bore you with stats, but this one stat will warm your coffee this morning. We were 2-2 on offense when it was Goal-to-Go situations. That's like the Coors Light Twins ratio: 100% good times.

I wanted to leave a quick post noting a few things:

• The local papers (the Trib at least) hasn't really had any news on how practice has gone since signing Jeff George. How's Hutch doing? It's too quiet...
• Alex Brown got his bag 'o cash.
• There is a quote from Erik Kramer that goes something like, Jeff George couldn't get along with June Jones, his old coach in Atlanta...That's like not getting along with Santa Klaus.
• Urlacher showed up to practice. People were surprised by this.
• The Illini Basketball team smoked Wake Forest.
• The Bulls beat the Lakers at home. That's 2 wins if you're counting.

I wanted to comment that we aren't doing a great job of covering the Bulls this year, and it's because our Bulls writer is off finding himself. He would have found himself at the Bulls game last night if it wasn't for the extra $10 a ticket they charge to see a real team come to town. It turns out that the game wasn't sold out. I wonder if that's because of the extra cash or the fact that Shaq is gone. I wonder what Kobe thinks of this. Apparently, he isn't able to sell out arenas like King James.